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Tuesday, November 12, 2013
On A Personal Note
I was just scrolling through a list of blogs I used to keep up with (a lot better than I currently am). It made me think about the last time I posted about what's going on in my life...which then made me remember that it's been entirely too long. I know that most of my readers follow for the recipes and food info, but a few of you have been with me since the wee-beginning. Perhaps you remember reading of my "Crohn's pains," my frustration with not feeling better quick enough, or ramblings of how seeing a naturopathic doctor turned my life around. For those who have stuck in there with me, I extend a special thank you to you.
But also thank you to my newer followers. Many of you are just getting into this way of life: eating right, taking care of yourself, inside and out. I can relate. Going from not caring (we all have to die from something, right?) to being what could be argued as obsessed with health.
Anywho, I wanted to let you all peer in to a little window of my life.
First of all, my health is the best it has been in my entire life. I can sense when I mention to new friends that I used to be sick that they don't really believe/understand quite the level of illness I was once imprisoned by. Which, I don't care much to recount but I can personally reflect on my progress and be more proud of myself than I would ever imagine. I never completely gave up, I never lost hope, and I actually stuck to something (big accomplishments for me!) and look at what happened...results. I feel so good I actually quite often forget that I have the Crohn's potential in my gut and that I still need to monitor what I eat. Which brings me to my next point. Lately, I've been cheating. On my stomach. To be truly successful on SCD you have to do it 100% with no exceptions for eating any "illegal" food. I remember The first time I ate something that came in a wrapper (a Larabar I believe)I felt so nervous as I brought the food to my mouth. I had gotten so used to not eating anything pre-made and, in fact, telling myself that such was poison and therefore would cause me physical pain that my reaction was to fear it. Comical now, but it's the truth. That feeling has long been lost, I still fear bad foods but I plan on keeping that revere. Keeps me in line. This whole 80/20 Paleo concept to me, I feel, is slightly ridiculous. Either you care about what you put into your body or you don't. There's no taking the weekend off from knowing what's good and bad. But in any case, I have ventured out to eating some things that I traditionally have not been. It started on a vacation where I ate french fries, then I ate some kind of crab stuffed prawns that had a sort of mayo-base at an upscale restaurant. I was confident that it was house-made and therefore not as bad as some icky stuff out of a jar but I didn't sweat it. And, more importantly, I didn't get sick. Since then I have tried a few other things, and yep- no pain, no real side effects at all. It's glorious. But I will never forget what it's like to feel close to death, and I don't plan on cheating on any kind of a regular basis and going back to that dark place. For those of you trying SCD or GAPS or PAI this is just proof that after a while, you can feel more "normal" again.
As far as fitness goes: I used to hate working out. I mean hate it. I refused to do it for many years. And then I realized that I was too sick to try. And then one day after getting better, I just woke up and decided I was tired of not being in shape. I worked out at home for a little while, but when I started trying to do box jumps onto my couch I realized it was time to advance to a gym. Then, I realized I didn't know what I was doing in the gym and that I was bored doing way too much cardio there. I stumbled upon Crossfit and fell deeply in love. I've been going for over six months now and I feel powerful and strong. I have also started fitness boxing (not competitive) and I equally feel my heart getting attached. I have wonderful trainers and the exercise is doing so much more for me than just training my muscles. Some of you, I know, will relate to what I mean.
I think pretty much everyone knows I moved to the beach. Health definitely had an influence in this decision. I highly recommend it. No therapist can hold a candle to the incredible power of sun and sand.
Let's see...oh, I am getting a divorce. No elaboration is necessary, just know that may have something to do with why I am so terrible at getting out new recipes to you. Although you all serve as a wonderful distraction that I am so grateful for. Stress has been high at times but also realize that all of those motivational "be strong" and "do what's best for you" little posts I put on Facebook I completely believe and try to live by. Be strong, do what's best for you. Enough said.
Also of note, I hope you realize that I read each and every one of your comments and see all of your Facebook Likes and messages. These make my day and it's great to see so much support, not only of my nonsense, but also of the Paleo movement in general. I feel like our little group is going to rock the world soon. It's just a matter of time before we are all experts and our duty is to help the rest of the world get their act together. At least, that's me dreaming.
So in conclusion, I started this blog to keep track of my own progress and help other people who want help. I can't say thank you enough for your support. I can't accurately convey the love of what I do in providing you with recipes, ideas, foodstuffs, and sillyness. Remember you can always send me an email if you have any specifics you would like an opinion on and be sure to give me feedback, I love it. I plan on being here for a while. :)
Thank you for the personal note, it makes me remember that I am not the only one with "My Crohn's moments". After 3 years of great health I am going through a flare up coupled with a recto-vaginal fistula and it is hard to deal with when you are still doing everything right. Keep up the blog and the recipes. I appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteI myself need to get back into that fearful mentality. Maybe its just laziness, but I have been catching myself cheating more and more often. Thanks for this little kick in the butt. ;) I guess its a good thing that I have to remind myself that I have a disease. None of this 80/20 nonsense.
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