Happy 2nd Crohn's-iversary!

Wow, I can't believe I just typed that title. Two full years since my diagnosis. Two full years since I thought I was a healthy person. But honestly, I can take back that last statement. I used to think I was a relatively healthy human being; sure I got an occasional cold every now and then and my back hurt like everyday, but that was "normal", no major issues, so I thought, but now I know better. Stomach pains should not be an everyday occurrence, nor should light-headedness, nausea, or even gas for that much. These things are a sign that something in us is off balance. There is a root problem that should be addressed. I wrote in my first Crohn's-iversary post about how I realized that our bodies are vessels we are given that we must do everything in our power to take the best care of. Since then this sentiment has only been more deeply engrained into my mind, my whole persona. Health has become a fascination of sorts for me. I notice not only how I feel day to day but how others take care of themselves. I find myself being resentful toward people who neglect the very bodies that they are gifted with. Sickness is inevitable, how we deal with that curse is completely up to us. Do research, find answers, demand a better solution. In ways, pursuit of good health is selfish. The focus becomes on yourself, even causing others to break their traditional way of thinking, at times, so that you can continue on in what is going to make you a better person. True friends will recognize this selfishness not as a negative quality, but an essential part of living that we all must take seriously. After all, if we don't take care of ourselves, who will? No one. Absolutely no one. If you have dealt with a serious illness, you will probably nod your head along with the words I wrote down, but if you haven't perhaps you are perplexed. As I get older I realize that it's stupid to try to please everyone. Being a unique individual is all that is required of me, and "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." It is this train of thought that has enabled me to set my mind to getting healthy, no matter the cost. There's really nothing that is worth a higher price. To take a step back and reflect on my physical state two years ago, I honestly find it hard to believe how miserable I was. I believe my old recollections to be true, but it's amazing that I can't recall exactly how much pain I was in. Perhaps that is my selective memory. I do that often. I choose to only remember the important things. And feeling that pain is nonessential. I can appreciate, though, that I now have the ability to accomplish so much more. Yes, I choose to have a restrictive diet but I hardly think of it in that sense anymore. Other than that I have stronger friendships, a better sense of self-worth, and stamina to pursue activities that are physically demanding. People always talk about how working out makes you feel good and I honestly could not understand that for the longest time. In fact, going to the gym used to exhaust me and leave me feeling sick. Having had time to recover and heal, I can now echo those sentiments. It's such a strange feeling my senses are heightened and I am more aware of everything around me. My taste, smell, and sensitivities to my surroundings are incredibly precise. I do believe that when we take care of our bodies the way they were intended to be treated there are no limits to what improves in our lives. Mentally, I have never thought clearer. Now if only I could get better vision I would be all good! The point of my rant is that despite what doctors or peers or people in general diagnose us with there is always an upside. It may take two years to feel the improvement in whole, but we have no choice but to take steps day by day and eventually we reap the results of those decisions, good or bad. I feel good knowing I will never regret the extremes I have taken to relish my health.